Maybe you can relate to this story: when I was 20 and still living at home, I had the creakiest bed in the world, and it was killing my sex life. It was a twin-sized rose metal relic of my childhood, and its incessant creaking made it blatant when I made love. Since I wasn’t even supposed to have any boys in my room with the door closed, let alone undress with them, that obviously wasn’t ideal – so my boyfriend and I started fucking on the floor.
Yes, whenever we were busy we would lay out the pillows on the carpet and go there right next to the dusty heater vent and discarded pairs of socks. It wasn’t exactly romantic – and sometimes I found myself bruising on the hard floor – but at least it was quiet.
Eventually, my dad offered to buy me a new bed, and I got one that was decidedly less noisy (not to mention bigger). But I never again underestimated the importance of a well-made bed frame.
Curious about which bed frames pass the gender test? I consulted two sex workers I know whose rough sex and wild perversions could definitely push a bed to its limits: Billy Lorea perverted porn performer and educator who films much of his stuff at home on his bed or couch, and Erin Pim, a dominatrix known for fucking, poking and wrestling in bed. I figured if anyone knew what makes a bed safe for sex, it would be them.
What to look for in a sex-friendly bed frame
1) Height. It don’t matter so much if all your fuckin’ things happen on your bed, but if you like to stand on the side of the bed for any reason during sex, you’ll need a frame that puts the top of your mattress at about crotch level. Face-fucking, pegging, and certain sex positions can all be made easier with a bed that’s the right height for your body. “I have a much easier time staying upright while I’m doing this hip thrust motion,” Pim says. “I find that if I’m on my knees it’s hard for me to stay consistent, which is what a lot of people like when they’re getting laid.”
Keep in mind that you need to factor the height of your mattress—and your box spring, if you’re using one—into your calculations when choosing a bed frame. If you have low ceilings, this could also limit you; you don’t want to have a bed so high that you might hit your head.
2) At ground level. If you are not the type to try out standing sex positions, the height of your bed isn’t as important, and Lore says it’s best to get one that’s fairly low to the ground. A large bed, or a bed suspended on long skinny legs, can sway like a skyscraper in windy weather once you start kicking boots on it; while a shorter bed will tend to move less, make less noise, and (naturally) be less dangerous if it breaks, since you won’t have as much of a drop.
3) Headboard. Both Lore and Pim prefer a headboard for any position where you’ll be sitting or squatting and facing over the top of the bed – such as when straddling a partner, sitting on their face, or getting laid from behind while bending over. It gives you something to lean against and shift some of your weight. You could still leaning against the wall instead, but that’s usually not as comfortable because, you know, it’s a hard, flat wall. Lore also points out that if you get fucked against a wall while wearing makeup, you might end up staining your wall and possibly pissing off your landlord.
Headboards are also useful for quick and easy bondage, as long as they have slats, buckles, or other design features that you can attach cuffs or rope to. “I’m a super naughty person, so if I have the opportunity to get a new bed frame, the main thing I’m going to look for is: is it compatible with my perversities, and what do I will I be able to do on this bed frame?” says Pim. Frames with a headboard are usually more expensive than those without, but they’re definitely worth saving up if you think they’ll serve you well.
4) Material and construction. While browsing the Reddit threads on the best bed frames for sex, I noticed that many respondents said that the platform-style solid wood frames are the quietest. Metal frames and frames that have legs rather than a solid base tend to require more bolts and screws – and the more bolts and screws, the more squeaks there are as they go. loosen over time.
Build quality is also important, and since you’ll be spending many hours on your bed, it’s worth having a frame that feels solid and won’t fall apart anytime soon. “If you’re paying the lowest price, chances are you’re getting what you pay for,” says Pim. She’s broken plenty of beds in her time doing “crazy sex shit”, and says that while it’s momentarily impressive when a bed collapses under you, it’s obviously annoying to have to buy another one. bedframe.
5) Hard points. If you like bondage or want to try it, look for a bed frame that has built-in “hard points”. These are areas of the frame that you can attach cuffs or rope to, like the aforementioned slats in a headboard or footboard. Lore says that hardpoints need to be “at the heart of the unit’s structure” and “able to withstand some hits,” so they don’t just break if you tug on them too hard.
That said, an easy way to turn any bed in an area conducive to bondage is to get yourself a under bed restraint kit. These come with long straps that you slide under your mattress and attach the included cuffs, so the weight of the mattress itself is what keeps you in place.
6) Storage space. Got sex toys, kink gear, safer sex supplies, or other sex-related junk that won’t fit on your nightstand? Some frames have built-in storage drawers underneath that are great for storing these things. “You can just bend down, see what’s in there, take it out and use it where you are,” says Pim. “It’s the ideal setup, that’s for sure.”
Ready to upgrade your bed for a better head (or whatever else you plan to do there)? Here are some bed frames that could make for stellar sex.
Lore owns and loves this bed frame, which has a low center of gravity and a solid base, rather than teetering atop a quartet of skinny legs. “It doesn’t squeak, it doesn’t creak, and it doesn’t make noise in the porn I do,” he says. “I fuck a lot, quite actively, and at most it comes off the wall a bit if you lean against the wall.”
He also likes that there is ample storage space underneath. the bed. He can fill the six built-in drawers with sex toys, condoms, kinky stuff and whatever else he wants to make sure he’s close at hand during sex. This frees up plenty of nightstand space and helps reduce clutter, so you can focus on boning.
This is another great bed frame If storage space is important to you, again you can store lube and other goodies right inside the headboard for quick access. It is also very low to the ground, supported by very short wooden legs, which bodes well for its stability and silence. “I find that higher beds are much more likely to squeak, wobble, be unstable, or break during sex,” says Lore.
Depending on the sex acts in your repertoire, a good sturdy headboard can do a lot for you. “On the crook list, he can wobble and bump into the wall and make more noise,” says Lore. “But on the pro roster it’s something you have to be prepared for, so if you’re mounting someone or straddling someone’s face, you can use it to stabilize yourself and support some of your weight.”
In addition to its generously sized headboard, this bed frame is also low to the ground and has ultra-short legs, so it’s less prone to creaking.
Not everyone needs the over-the-top ornamentation of a four-poster bed – in fact, I’d say almost no one does – but this type of bed frame can be useful for some acts of kink. Pim likes that the four poles give you plenty to hang on to, or tie up or cuff a partner in, whatever wild positions you might find yourself in.
The rails at the top of the framework can be used to hang curtains if you want some privacy while you put it on, but they can also help you keep your balance if you’re doing naughty activities that involve standing or stepping on the bed , like stepping on a partner or dripping wax on them. (We don’t have time to get into the safety details on this here because this is an article about bed frames, so do your research first, okay?!)
lore guard this sofa bed in his living room, but often fucks (and films himself fucking) on it, and says it works just as well for that as it does for lounging and watching TV. He likes that the movable cushions retain their shape well enough to be used as the sex pillows made by companies like Liberator – you can lean against them, lean over them and use them to find the perfect angle for whatever sexy thing you’re doing.
Lore also removed the fabric along the outer edges of this sofa so he can fuck some metal D-rings hardware directly into the frame. They function as hard points, in case he is suddenly struck with the desire to do bondage right in the middle. He suggests checking the weight tolerances of the D-rings and screws you buy to make sure they’ll work for bend purposes, and adds that employees won’t know why you’re buying this material. “It’s a very normal thing to ask,” he said. “So people [at the hardware store] isn’t going to be like, ‘Doing bondage, huh?!'”